Movin' on Up

The past few weeks have been swamped with so many different things- auditions, filming, styling, moving, and my feeble attempts at balancing it all. 
It's funny because I want all those things, you know? The auditions, the bookings, the traveling. It's what I work so hard for! But when I received it, I let my need for control and my desire to "do it all" get in the way of actually enjoying the process. Don't get me wrong, I learned my lesson pretty quickly (or else I would've internally shut down due to stress and lack of sleep) and was able to be in the moment and enjoy the craziness. But when I was letting it get to me, I was reminded of something.

THE. MESS. 

Getting touched up for the commercial I was filming this week

I can't do everything all the time. 
I know, I know. I'm young. I don't even have kids yet! What do I know? And to that I say, thanks for that info!
I do a ton of things and I love it. I love my to do lists, I love working, I love being busy. It's a lot and I wouldn't have it any other way. That being said, when my schedule gets crazy, instead of going with it and embracing the work, I pressure myself into trying to get everything I want to do done. After a 13 hour shoot that wrapped at 2 am, I got mad at myself for not getting up at 5 am to go to the gym. It seems crazy, I know. But that's just the little perfectionist voice in me saying that I can do it all, I'm just not trying hard enough. I didn't post new inventory for My Closet etc two weeks in a row and I felt SO. BAD. Maybe no one even noticed, but it was dreadful to me. I felt like I failed. And that's not ok. 

Had to improvise for a last minute audition

Sometimes I can't go to the gym, because I need to listen to my body and sleep. Sometimes I can't post new inventory because I literally didn't have the time- it wasn't a lack of time management, or my laziness. I literally did not have a moment. And I need to get that! I need to start being my biggest fan, not my own worst critic.

If you've struggled with perfectionism or a need for control you know how it is. The pressure can be consuming, and many times it comes from ourselves, not others. Why is it that we're so harsh on ourselves? Let's start guarding our peace and our joy more than anything else in our lives- it's the only way we'll be able to achieve good and beautiful things without burning out. We all need to be nicer to ourselves. We all need to be gentler in times of stress. We need to listen to our bodies and treat them with care. 

My room and office in our new apartment is still horribly messy, but I don't let it consume me. Instead, I've decided to work on it daily and given myself a reachable goal. The pressure's not so bad and I know that it will get done. 

Be sweet to yourself today, and tell me how do you handle stressful situations!
Much love, 
Nikka

Public thanks to coffee for helping me out this week